Thursday, August 30, 2012

The next Blockbusters...


This is not a wish list, but rather a satirical look at what we might expect to be given the green light in Hollywood over the next 12 months.

Mario Bros: The 90’s one and its Roxette song is pretty much forgotten anyway. Expect mushrooms and coins in full 3D glory.

John Lennon- Zombie Killer: You really bought all that “give peace a chance” stuff? In a zombie apocalypse, happiness truly is a warm gun.

Back To The Future IV: Marty and Jennifer’s kids perfect the Flux Capacitator. Michael J Fox to make a brief cameo as his current aged self. His younger self will be computer generated.

 The Life & Death of Kurt Cobain: Hollywood loves its musician biopics at the moment so this one was inevitable. Watch for Michelle Williams as Courtney Love.

Hallelujah: Yup, another muso biopic of the dreamy Jeff Buckley starring James Franco.

Labyrinth: A classic needlessly remade by Tim Burton with (can you guess?) Johnny Depp replacing Bowie as Jareth. Helena Bonham Carter to play the old lady with the impossible amount of junk of her back.

The Legend of Zelda: Disney. 3D......What? .....That’s it.

A Tale of Two Cities: Frock dramas are still in vogue and Mr Nolan showed how topical this classic piece of literature is in today’s socio-economic climate. Expect names like Fassbender, Knightley, Jackman and Hathaway.

The Big ‘W’: The Coens do a suitably offbeat remake of It’s A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World complete with modern soundtrack, blood and manic car chases.

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